Setting Aside a Worry

Our mission, TEAM, has a great requirement for us. They ask us to set aside a whole day each year as a Day of Prayer and Vision. I've been doing this since 2005 and look forward to it with great anticipation. I choose a day that Russ is at the care home and I don't work at school. There aren't many days where those too things intersect, so I choose the day well in advance so that nothing else gets scheduled.

I use the time to reflect on my life and ministry writing out the challenges and joys of the previous year and determine my goals for the coming year. I intersperse my Bible study and reflection with prayer walks.

Two years ago as I was walking along I realized I had a reoccurring worry. I tend to worry about things years in the future. At that time I kept worrying about where we would live after we retire. I didn't know where we should locate with our daughter in Seattle, WA, our son in Augusta, ME, Russ' siblings in Nebraska, and my siblings in Indiana and Michigan. Even greater than my worry about location was how we would ever afford a home. We've given our lives to missionary service so have never had the finances or opportunity to own a home.

God challenged me to give that unsettling concern to Him. In response, I wrote out the following:

On this day, Oct. 14, 2013 12:48 PM sitting under this tree, I surrender to you, God, where I will live, who I'll be with (whether Russ is in heaven, in a hospital, in a nursing home, or at home with me), and what I'll be doing in the future. I sit under the canopy of this tree looking up with hope that your glory can shine in and through me in whatever circumstances you place me. I choose to see beyond any suffering taking a divine leap of perspective to dwell in hope.
Your not-humble-enough servant,
Flossie Epley
 
An amazing thing happened. That burden was totally lifted and I've never worried about where we'll live since that prayer commitment. It was really a miracle...something special God did in my thinking as I surrendered it to Him.

The next year, remembering how freeing it was to no longer be worried about a home for retirement, I decided to give another worry to God. For a few years I've been struggling with skin issues and joint pain. I tried elimination diets and read extensively about natural solutions when my numerous trips to the dermatologist was not netting results. I read so many conflicting opinions that I was stressing out over what to eat. Meal planning turned into a heavy burden of confusion even though I consider gourmet cooking one of my hobbies. Again God met me. I penned:

On this day, Oct. 13, 2014 sitting here at our dining room table I surrender to you, God, my need to know clearly what I should and should not eat and choose to trust you to lead me in my food choices in whatever way you choose. As I sit outside now in the post-typhoon sunshine and gaze at the beautiful flowers that weathered the storm, I affirm your unquestionable ability to give me the ability to plan healthy meals to care for this temple you've given to me without being stressed or overwhelmed. I choose to meal-by-meal trust your guidance and to not pick up the mantle of worry about food again. I will listen to your Spirit.
Your resting servant,
Flossie Epley

While it's taken time to learn the connections between causes and symptoms, I no longer worry about what to eat. I just do my best and God has led me to greater understanding of how my body reacts to food.

This year I had no idea what area of my life God would speak to me about, but giving up the worry about what to eat at the next meal has provided so much peace in my life, that I was all ears. What worry would God reveal to me this year? I was walking along the river when God spoke so clearly to me it was almost like a voice. As soon as I got home I wrote:

On this day, Oct. 12, 2015 standing alongside the Ochiai River here in Higashi Kurume, I surrender to you, God, my concern about how Russ' medical and therapy needs will be cared for when we retire and return to the U.S. When Russ had his massive stroke I knew nothing about the whole Kaigo system and how just three years earlier they extended that longterm care to include those 40 to 64 years old for ten conditions, one of which was stroke. We've been abundantly blessed to continue having therapy five days per week and excellent medical care for unbelievably low cost. I release to your capable hands all of Russ' future care and the funding for it. We don't have to stay in Japan to get good care, we need to stay in the center of your plans for our lives. And if Russ does not get good care in the future even when we've done our part to investigate the possibilities and have carefully listened to your guidance, I will consider it a small sacrifice to be obedient to your leading, an earthbound suffering that will disappear when we go to be with you for eternity.
Your trusting servant,
Flossie Epley

What about you? Do you have any worries you need to set aside?